A Three-hour Tour
So, in the midst of moving into our new headquarters, the Pug Slope team traveled upstate for a long weekend in the Thousand Islands region of the St. Lawrence River with Sid’s Grammy Grace, Great Grammy Nanny, Uncle Jay, and Aunt Chiho.
Did you know that they allow pugs to go on boat tours? Neither did we! But as soon as we found out, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to bring Sid on a tour of the mighty St. Lawrence. Sid insisted on wearing his most nautical apparel, and as we were unpacking after the trip, I discovered that he had kept a “Captain’s Log” of this adventure…
June 23rd, 2012. 1400 hours. Pops, my first mate, holds me aloft while we wait in line at the port. From my elevated vantage point, I see that the St. Lawrence river is approx. 3.5 meters above its average level for this time of year. The sun is in my eyes. Pops did not pack my sunglasses. Once again consider replacing Pops with a better first mate, but then notice how well our shirts coordinate and remember that he fed me breakfast.
June 23rd, 2012. 1410. On the docks, approaching the gangplank which will lead me onto the vessel, I see that rain is beginning to fall onto the surface of the river. Since I still don’t buy this whole “depth” thing, I try to walk onto the river. Pops stops me. Not sure how I feel about that.
June 23rd, 2012. 1420. After exploring the three decks of this vessel, I’ve determined that deck two – home of the Snack Galley – is the deck on which I’d like to travel. Popcorn crumbs from earlier excursions line the carpet throughout this awesome deck. Pops, however, insists on carrying me to the open-air third deck. I wriggle violently in an attempt to escape back to the popcorn deck, but Pops’s arms are ropey and strong. Definitely need a new first mate. Preferably one who’s weak with scurvy.
June 23rd, 2012. 1445. Escaped Pops’s grip, but was captured by Mom before making it to the popcorn deck. Oh, yeah – Mom’s here. Mom proceeded to act all mommish. Asked Mom to please stop embarrassing me while I’m captaining a ship.
June 23rd, 2012. 1532. Successfully steered ship towards Boldt Castle, only to find out upon disembarking that dogs aren’t allowed on the island. Attempted to explain to the natives that I’m not a dog, I’m a PUG, but they didn’t care. Tried to explain to the natives that I’m an Internet celebrity, but they didn’t care. Explained to the natives that I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS HERE VESSEL and then ordered them to LET ME ONTO THE ISLAND OR ELSE THEY’D WALK THE PLANK, and they just laughed and scratched my ears. Posed for a photo with Mom on the top deck instead. (Still no popcorn)
June 23rd, 2012. 1540. Back on the open waters. Mom finally let me stand on the top deck as long as I promised not to jump ship. Discovered that tongue can be used as a navigational tool. The wind was traveling south-south-east at 15 knots per hour. Asked Pops to re-calculate our route using this newly-gained information, but he drew something stupid in his sketchbook instead. Decided to put ad for new first mate on Craigslist as soon as we were back on land.
June 23rd, 2012. 1630. Heading back to shore. Navigating through calm waters. Still no popcorn.
June 23rd, 2012. 1645. Mom tells Pops that she needs to use the loo. Pops says he does too. The loo is located on deck two…
June 23rd, 2012. 1650. POPCORN CRUMBS CARPET MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!111!!!!
June 23rd, 2012. 1700. Swabbed deck two with my tongue. Delicious.