Law and Order: Spoiled Pugs Unit
On Saturday, October 9th, Siddhartha Lamont Sanchez Demski was found in his Park Slope walk-up, SPOILED beyond the legal limits set by the legislators of these five boroughs.
Let the evidence show that on that day, Grammy Grace came down for a visit with the sole intention of showering Mr. Sid with treats, toys, and snuggles.
Exhibit A – Two (2) LARGE boxes of delicious, all-natural, organic, hypo-allergenic, wheat-free, meat-free, crunchy dog treats:
Exhibit B – A brand-new, seasonally-appropriate plush toy:
Exhibit C – A photo of Siddhartha with Grammy Grace at the Prospect Park Dog Beach:
Would a pug whose grammy wasn’t spoiling him with massive quantities of delicious treats and brand new plush toys choose to stand on a bench with her over playing in the water? Would he?!
(It’s at this point that the Assistant District Attorney realizes his case isn’t as air-tight as it should be. He calls for a recess, gathers his detectives, and shouts, “I need more evidence!” Then Benson and Stabler, or Goren and Eames, or Lennie Briscoe and whoever his partner is in whichever season’s rerun you’re watching, go back over the case and stumble upon the key piece of the puzzle, making a conviction inevitable)
Ladies and gentlemen of the court, at this time I’d like to present into evidence four recently discovered surveillance photos which prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the pug had access to excessive amounts of treats, toys, and snuggles during the day on which Grammy Grace came for a visit:
After thirty seconds of deliberation, the jury found the defendant guilty on all counts of excessive spoiling of a pug. chung-CHUNG!